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Conversations with Trowa "So, did you ever find your hairbrush, Duo?" Quatre asked, somewhat hesitantly, glancing over at Wufei. The Chinese pilot scowled at the topic being introduced at the breakfast table. Duo answered, but it was unclear exactly what he said as he spoke through the food he was liberally stuffing into his mouth. ". . ." Looking over at Trowa, Duo repeated, "I said, 'Yeah, it was in the refrigerator.'" ". . ." "No!" Duo sounded outraged. "It wasn't *me* who put it there!" He looked speculatively over at Wufei as the other glowered back at Duo. "Don't look at me like that, kisama!" Wufei was still offended by the Dishonorable One's actions of the previous week. Imagine – chasing him around the house with his *own* hairbrush! And now he had the gall to insinuate that Chang Wufei had been the culprit who'd started it all! The injustice! ". . ." "No, I don't know how it got into the fridge," Duo replied. ". . ." "Well, I finally found it when I gave up and got hungry. Went to make a pb&j sandwich and lookie lookie! It was behind the loaf of bread." "Speaking of loaves of bread," Wufei interrupted, "we don't have anything to eat here since the Bottomless Pit over there ate us out of our stock, so I'm going to go for supplies. If anyone wants anything, tell me now." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Poor Wufei. He shouldn't have offered." ". . ." "I know. It's obvious he wasn't thinking at all when he said that. But who would've thought that Duo would jump at the chance and go shopping with Wufei?" ". . ." "Okay, okay, so you warned me. I *know* Duo's preparing for his "Jump Heero" mission, but did he have to go shopping with Wufei? We won't hear the end of it for another month!" ". . ." "I know! I know that's his way, but…"Quatre sighed. "He makes it so difficult for the rest of us…" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "…so I dragged him to the mall first 'cause I knew if we'd started at the supermarket, he'd buy the frozen veggie-crap stuff as an excuse to get it back to the safehouse before it melted and man! you shoulda seen his protests! You know, I think Wu-man likes to draw a crowd. You could hear his "Seigi no! Seigi no!" anywhere within a 3-mile radius, I swear!…" Trowa's eyes glittered with amusement as Duo continued with his rapid-fire description of the day's events. Duo still had excess energy, which came as no surprise. But Wufei had looked exhausted as the two returned at 8 pm that night. Granted, it wasn't that late, but if anyone had been on a 10-hour shopping trip with Duo, they'd probably be exhausted too. ". . ." Duo looked sheepish. "Actually, no. By the time we got to the supermarket, it was closed! I mean, the nerve! What kind of supermarket closes at 7 pm on a Sunday?" ". . ." "No, really? You mean Wufei wasn't kidding about that? I thought they were all open 24 hours! What about emergencies when you get a craving for peanut butter and banana with relish and onion sandwiches?" ". . ." "Don't tell me you've never tried one!" Duo's grin widened evilly and Trowa had to suppress a shudder. "I'll make one for you sometime Tro! But anyway, getting back to what I was saying…" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When Trowa finally joined Quatre in bed for the night, Quatre snuggled up to the taller boy and asked, "So what happened during the shopping trip today? I could hear Duo talking at 50 miles an hour, but I couldn't make out what he was saying." ". . ." "He did WHAT? First off? But we'd just been eating breakfast! He still had room for donuts and coffee?" ". . ." "And what did Wufei do? Don't tell me he *believed* it when Duo said he wanted to go into the Dunkin' Donuts to 'use the bathroom'?" ". . ." Quatre sighed, exasperated. "Oh. He said he was going into the bookstore to use the bathroom. Then he snuck out the back and went down the street to the Dunkin' Donuts. Figures." Quatre looked up hopefully. "So what happened at the mall?" ". . ." "Well, that's not so bad. What kind of trouble can Duo get into in a clothing store?" ". . ." Quatre choked (on nothing, apparently – maybe laughter). "You say they had underthings there? As in, men's skimpy lingerie? I didn't know that there were stores that had men's lingerie exclusively." ". . ." "No?" Quatre squeaked, "they had women's lingerie there too?" He paled, imagining Wufei's reaction to a store filled with men and 'onnas' shopping for skimpy lingerie… "Did Duo happen to bring any tissues with him when he decided to drag Wufei in there?" Quatre sighed in resignation as Trowa shook his head. "Some paper towels? A mop, maybe? No? I didn't think so." ". . ." "Then Duo tried on some clothes and modeled them for Wufei? Well, that's not so bad." ". . ." "They were hip-riding, skin-tight black leather pants and a mesh see-through top." Quatre's voice gradually became more and more resigned as Trowa went on with his description of Duo and Wufei's shopping trip. ". . ." "What do you mean the pants had no button? Zip fly with no button? But…" ". . ." "Wufei controlled his nosebleed tendency? Well, that's great Trowa! We have to congratulate him… some… how…." Quatre trailed off as Trowa shook his head again. ". . ." "… until Duo decided to…. He…. Did that? Really? He modeled a pair of thong underwear?[1] For Wufei? Oh god." Quatre groaned. There was going to be no peace and quiet for the next 10 years when Wufei woke up in the morning. Quatre suspected the only reason Wufei hadn't gotten started killing Duo was because he was dead tired. He'd gone straight to bed as he'd come in the door. "I'm surprised Wufei didn't pass out from the blood loss." Quatre paused as Trowa only stared at him in silence. "No," he groaned, "please, please, please, don't tell me he *did* pass out." Quatre buried his face in his hands. "Kami-sama," he sighed. "What's *wrong* with Duo? Why's he picking on Wufei so much lately anway?" Then it hit him. "Oh. He's trying to distract himself from thinking about Heero, isn't he?" ". . ." "Well, he'd better hurry up and get on with "Mission: Jump Heero" or there'll be nothing left of him able to jump Heero when the time comes." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [the next morning] "…'bye guys, gotta run!" Duo called, running backwards and waving as he headed out the door at what became breakneck speed as soon as he cleared the porch. "MAXWEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL!!!" Wufei's shout seemed to rattle the windows. Only a faint echo of eerie laughter could be heard coming from the direction Duo had run. Wufei came down the stairs, slowly, seeming to take each step very carefully, placing both feet on each step before moving descending to the next one. From his usual seat on the couch in the living room, Trowa observed that Wufei's eye… no. His cheek. Well, both his right eye and cheek seemed to be twitching. Wufei turned his… twitching… face to Trowa. "He ran out, didn't he?" ". . ." Wufei didn't even seem to need Trowa's confirmation. "One of these days… he's going to go too far…" Wufei smiled what could only be called a scary, preying grimace as his fists clenched and unclenched. "… and I'm going to cut that damn braid of his." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "It's begun," Quatre thought, as he watched Heero watching Wufei. "Duo, you'd better get your ass in gear." ================================================================
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