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Something I Can Never Have Waking up with someone’s mouth around your penis is a very interesting sensation. Yes, Trowa thought, very interesting. His mind awoke completely as his body reacted to what was being to done to him. Not that he minded much – this was Duo’s favorite way of saying "good morning." In the past year and a half, Duo had come to believe in Heero and Trowa’s love for him, although the road had not been an easy one. They’d had to work through some of Duo’s issues, like his sense of self-worth, his deep-seated belief that he didn’t deserve their love… because that was what had been at the bottom of his breakdown in the park with Trowa.; the absolute belief that they couldn’t POSSIBLY love him… even if that’s what Duo had wanted most in the world. It had taken the longest to really overcome. And even now, Duo had moments of doubt that he couldn’t really prevent… when it seemed almost impossible to believe… that he’d finally gotten his dream. But Trowa and Heero were there, all the time, just THERE – for him and for each other – and he couldn’t deny that this WAS reality. Duo had only recently begun actually telling them that he loved them. Trowa clearly remembered how it had happened the first time. They’d been sitting on the couch in Duo’s apartment (where they’d decided to stay, rather than going back to earth), watching TV, with Heero and Trowa sitting on either side of Duo. During one of the commercials, he’d snatched the remote away from Heero (who still liked to be in control of as much as possible), pressed mute and blurted out, "You know I love you guys, right?" They’d both been so stunned they hadn’t known how to react, so they both fell back on their generic responses. "Hn" from Heero and "Hmmm" from Trowa. It had seemed to satisfy Duo, who promptly pressed the mute button again and went back to watching TV. And that had been that. None of them would trade it for anything. Trowa came back to the present when he felt slick fingers probing his entrance. It appeared that Duo had already gotten the lube. He slipped two fingers inside, stroking Trowa’s prostate and stretching him in preparation. Duo was only satisfied when he had Trowa moaning and writhing on the bed. Duo loved to hear Trowa moan in pleasure. Despite Trowa’s veritable speech on THAT day (which he only half-remembered), he was still as silent as he’d been during the war. So, it got him really aroused to know that HE could make Trowa lose control enough to moan aloud in pleasure. The were both a little impatient this morning and Duo finally pushed into him, taking care to go slowly so as not to hurt him. Leaning over him, Duo pressed his face against Trowa’s chest, then turned it, so that he could hear the rapid beat of Trowa’s heart. He traced his fingers over the faint scar where the bullet from Duo’s gun had gone through Trowa’s flesh, and pushed a little deeper. Trowa covered his hand when he traced the scar. Duo did this many times during intimate moments, as if to remind himself of what had almost happened. Although he hadn’t completely realized it that day, he’d come close to really losing his dream… and surely his mind. If Trowa had died from that bullet wound… there was no telling what would have happened. Duo’s mind had been out to lunch, but if he’d really lost Trowa – and in his mind, Heero, too – then he would have snapped, and who knows if they would’ve been able to bring him back. Trowa had told him countless times that he never had to be forgiven for shooting him – it had been a reflex reaction. And besides, it had been part of the process in "getting" Duo. "Take it as a courtship ritual, Duo." He smiled every time he said it. And Duo would smile back, but neither Trowa nor Heero were ever sure if he did. Duo stopped tracing the scar when Trowa covered his hand with his own and looked up into the beautiful green eyes of his lover. Duo smiled in understanding, not needing Trowa to repeat the words because he already knew that Trowa forgave him for going a bit crazy that day. He could barely remember half of it. And what he did remember was all jumbled up and confusing. All that he remembered of the shooting was the denial. An intense denial that he’d done anything… and then the thought that Trowa was dead, but he must be okay because he was asking him for something… a promise. The promise he’d made was the best thing that he’d ever done, in Duo’s opinion. But he shook off the memories and turned his attention back to pleasing his lover. They both let out sighs of satisfaction when Duo was finally buried to the hilt. His erection twitched with each pulse of blood, but he didn’t move, even when Trowa contracted his muscles around him. It was a game they played; to see how long he could last. But it wasn’t *only* that. Duo always felt, when they were making love, no matter who was in whom, that it was like coming home. To something that filled you to the brim with love and joy and could never be taken away. He loved that feeling; he never wanted it to end… even if it did end with the ultimate pleasure. So they both stayed as still as possible before they couldn’t take it anymore and Duo thrust them both into completion. "Can you PLEASE keep it down, I’m trying to SLEEP here." The nasal voice cut in on the moment, but it wasn’t unwelcome. "Besides, I thought it was Trowa’s turn to be on top," the voice said with a snicker. "Yes, well, I couldn’t resist how sweet he looks when he’s asleep, with his hair covering half of his face like that." Duo ignored the voice when it commented on how Trowa’s hair ALWAYS covered his face like that, and continued. "And it’s all YOUR fault anyway, Mr. I-Can’t-Wait-No-Of-Course-We-Don’t-Need-Lube. My ass is *sore* this morning. If Trowa wants to be on top, he can top YOU." Duo finished his comment by blowing a raspberry in Heero’s general direction before collapsing to the bed between them and promptly falling fast asleep with a little mumbled "Wuv oo." Heero and Trowa clasped hands over Duo’s sleeping body and shared a smile before following Duo’s example. +OWARI+ ===========================
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